“Is diabetes a relationship killer?” Surveys occasionally suggest that it can be. However, it does not have to be. Frequently cited concerns include fear of diabetes-related complications, irritability, persistent fatigue, problems caused by hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), and dietary restrictions. It becomes clear that diabetes affects not only the person living with the condition but also the people around them—especially their partner.

When a person is diagnosed with diabetes, it can have a significant impact on the relationship and on everyday life together. With proper treatment, however, it is possible to live an almost normal life despite the disease, and the same should apply to the relationship. By addressing diabetes-related challenges openly, and by making use of available support and treatment options, unnecessary conflicts that may burden the relationship can often be avoided.

With Diabetes: Support Yes – Overprotection No

The right level of support from a partner can make living with diabetes much easier. However, it is important that support does not turn into overprotectiveness.

It is understandable that a partner may become more concerned about the affected person. However, this should not lead to avoiding conversations out of consideration. Excessive caution and avoidance of discussion can ultimately harm a relationship more than help it.

Particularly shortly after diagnosis, it is natural for a partner to be especially worried and perhaps call more frequently than usual to make sure everything is alright. Fear that the person with diabetes might experience hypoglycemia—for example while driving—can become a constant concern.

Measures can be taken to reduce this anxiety. For instance, regular times for phone calls can be agreed upon. Such arrangements should be discussed and established together in a calm and open conversation. At the same time, the person with diabetes should not feel monitored or overprotected, because this may lead them to resist well-intentioned advice, reject help, and withdraw emotionally.

On the other hand, it is equally important that the person with diabetes does not become dependent on their partner by delegating essential aspects of self-management—such as maintaining an appropriate diet—to them.

As valuable as support from others can be, the person with diabetes should remain primarily responsible for managing their own treatment.

A Shared Concern: Diabetes and Sexuality

Erectile dysfunction can deal a severe blow to a man’s self-confidence. He may no longer feel like a “complete man” and may feel unable to provide his partner with a satisfying sexual relationship. As a result, many men withdraw completely from sexual activity in an attempt to avoid situations where erectile problems might occur.

The partner, however, is often confused because she is unaware of the difficulties. She may assume, for example, that she is no longer attractive enough. In this way, erectile dysfunction can quickly lead to problems within the relationship.

But it does not have to be this way.

Overcome your hesitation and talk openly with your partner. She is often suffering from the situation as well. In many cases, she will appreciate your honesty and work together with you to find solutions. And remember: for many women, a fulfilling sex life does not depend solely on sexual intercourse.

Doctors and Psychologists Can Help with Sexual Problems

If your partner is unable to ease your fears of failure, it may be worthwhile to speak with a doctor you trust or consult a psychotherapist—either alone or together as a couple.

Sexual intimacy concerns both partners, which is why your partner should be involved in treatment decisions. Discuss not only at home but also together with your doctor what aspects of treatment are most important to you. Only in this way can you find the solution that best suits both you and your partner.

Several types of healthcare professionals can help with erectile dysfunction—not only urologists, but also family physicians, diabetologists, internists, and psychotherapists. Choose the healthcare professional with whom you feel most comfortable and whom you trust.

Modern medicine offers many treatment options.